I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
