Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
