My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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