That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
