I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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