Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
