Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
