Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
