Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
