I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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