In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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