I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize