i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize