So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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