She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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