I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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