i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
