Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
