i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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