is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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