my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
