you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
