If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
