thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
