we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This baby is an asshole
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
