So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
