White coat. Heels.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
