How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He felt like a one man threesome
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
