This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
