I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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