dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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