totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
