I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
