You can't motorboat a personality
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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