in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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