the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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