Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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