now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
