hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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