A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
