I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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