I think I just saw someone hide a body.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
