Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
