Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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