I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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