One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
