I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
