is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
