I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Randomize
