Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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