and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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