I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
