Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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