It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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