Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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