I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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