i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
