You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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