Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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