It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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