Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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