When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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